God has richly blessed me. Since moving back from Botswana, I’ve been patiently waiting on Him to lead me to a place that I could call home, whether that be an apartment, duplex, townhouse, house…whatever. I have tried at different times to pursue something, but the timing wasn’t right, the home wasn’t right, and my heart wasn’t quite ready.
The past few weeks, God has been stirring my heart for Him in a beautiful way. He has once again become my priority, the Love of my heart. I have taken my time with Him, time in prayer and in His Word, off of the back burner and put it once again at the center of my life…where it belongs. My heart and spirit have been filled up each day as I sit in His presence and just enjoy being with Him.
In the midst of this time of falling in love with Jesus again, He has graciously and perfectly opened the door for a beautiful home for me. It came out of nowhere and could not be any more clear that it is completely from Him. It has been an absolute joy to spend the last week unpacking boxes (some that have been packed for four years!) and shopping for fun things to make this house into a home. I feel overwhelmed by the magnitude of God’s blessings poured over me the past couple of weeks. I just stand in awe.
This morning as I was reading in Isaiah, God ministered to my heart in a special way:
“Does the clay say to Him who forms it, ‘What are you making?’ or ‘Your work has no handles’?” Isaiah 45:9
How often have I questioned God’s plans, His work in my life? How often have I wondered why He did things in a certain way? And how very often have I questioned things about myself, felt insecure, wished I could change things about myself? I haven’t met any one person in my life who has not also struggled with insecurity and questioning God’s plans at times. But even as this verse has spoken to me before about the absurdity of the created questioning the Creator, it meant something new to me today.
Putting together this home has been a lot of work. My body is worn-out and bruised, my muscles are sore, my bank account is dwindling…but I can’t put into words the amount of love and pride I feel sitting in this new home, taking in every detail, loving how beautifully it’s all coming together. I could spend hours just going from room to room, enjoying the details, loving what it’s becoming, feeling overwhelming gratitude for God’s goodness and blessings.
How much would it hurt my heart if this home that is being created in such a labor of love, were to speak to me about how much it hated the way it looks? How much would it sting if it questioned the plans and visions I have for this home? I love this place, imperfections and all, and know that the plans I have for it are good.
How much more so does God feel this toward us? How much love, time, thought, and vision went into creating each one of us, each one of our individual lives? And how much does it hurt His heart when we question how He’s chosen to create us and question the plans and visions He has for those lives?
Today I pray to have a grateful heart, loving who God has created me to be and trusting fully in His plans. I pray to have a greater clarity in just how precious my life is to Him, how beautiful and valuable I am to Him, imperfections and all.
“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.” -Psalm 139: 13-14